The Eye Of A Clown

If you’ve followed any of my past photos on this Blog, you’ve probably seen this technique, in which I employ a bunch of different styles including layering things like glass and spit to get this sort of look. I have done some studying in distorted imagery and how a lot of people will look in the mirror at themselves and see different things. You can walk by one mirror in your house and be happy with the way you look, and you can walk by another mirror and be completely disgusted. That’s distorted imagery in the brain and it’s something I like to capture in my art.

This particular day I wasn’t liking myself that much – not at all, actually – but instead of allowing myself to get depressed or dwelling on my emotions, I did the opposite and explored my unhappiness in the ugliest, scariest, most devilish way possible. I wanted to create an image of myself that was so disgusting I would look at it and think it’s absolutely beautiful. This was the way that I perceived myself on that particular day, and by the time I was done developing this, I was absolutely happy. It was an experiment in self-hatred and disgust where I see something horrifying and try to find some positive potential in it.

When I was growing up, if I said something bad about my mom, she would say, “Can you tell me something good about me now?” I have a lot of bad things to say about myself, but when I look at this I find a lot of great things to say.